It’s not 50-50 , It’s 100-100

I was chatting with my husband last week about some of the blog post I’ve written so far, and new ideas I wanted to write about before this month. As we talked about my letters to stay-at-home moms, as we got stuck to “But what about the dads?” My first reaction was to explain that I was writing from my experience and my perspective. That I was gearing my writing toward women in similar situations to myself. But it got me thinking, and feeling a little disappointed in myself that I hadn’t considered his (and other dads’) roles earlier. I started to wonder, why wouldn’t I write a letter, an explanation, a thank you to those dads who contribute just as much to the family but in different ways?

This month (June) has been always my favourite, because in a same month I have my Mom’s birthday and Father’s Day together, now it’s much more important as I have my husband who is a new father and he is overachieving each and every day as a father  

And I’m absolutely, beyond a shadow of a doubt, grateful for him and all that he does. Every. Single. Day.

For the man that he is, for the father he has become, and for the effort he puts toward our family and our marriage.

Having a child puts a whole new kind of stress and responsibility in your relationship. (I know many of you can relate)

Have we had tough moments? More than I can count.
Have we argued and disagreed about parenting styles? We have, and I’m sure we will continue to as we are in a jigsaw puzzle. But are we ready to improve, to grow, and to love unconditionally? Yes.

We put our family first each and every day, and it’s a conscious choice You can only make if you have a partner who is just as on-board as you.

And so, this is for my daughter’s father, and all of the other dads or partners out there making their own sacrifices outside and inside of the home for the sake of their families.

Dear Working Dads,

We see you. I see you. Your baby sees you.

I see you first thing each morning when you take five extra minutes out of your routine to snuggle our baby before leaving for the day. The smile on your face when your eyes meet, even though exhaustion and stress of the upcoming day. I see the sweet kisses you give her, and the joy in her laugh as she begs for more. (Aur Aur Papa).

I see you dancing and telling stories to her, as though you’ve been waiting your entire life to tell these. (Made up Stories of moo moo’s coming).  I see the light in her eyes when you dip her low and lift her high, and the excitement on both of your faces. You two together are a sight I wasn’t sure I’d ever see in my life, and it’s one that I carry around in my heart and in my mind.  

I still see you through the trial and error of conveying this thing called “parenthood”. When we disagree, when your ideas differ from mine, and when the conversation stops halfway, I see you trying, fighting for all that we have, and all that we can be/do. I see it, and I hope you do too. 

This phase of life is not easy but precious and it’s ours. I see you wanting the world for our baby girl, just as I do. I see you, and I appreciate you, for never making me feel guilty for not getting it all done.  

You are the other half of this backbone, and that role is one you take on with grace with a smile on your face and I see you improving every day each day and I love you for this.

From

Stay at home Mumma

 

My labor was not in vain!

I know it's difficult but I don’t mind being a stay-at-home-mom for some more time. I was offered the privilege of leaving you with grandparents and carrying on with my daily life just like those days when you were never around, but that was never on my mind when I chose to become a mom. You are a piece of my heart. Spending 24/7 with you but still can’t get enough of you.

I want to make the most of this time – bonding with you, caring for you, embracing you, feeling your little cuteness, listening to your gibberish blabber, watching the birds together, enjoying your cute little imitations of everything I do, exciting meal sharing times and every little thing you do every single second.

A few years from now –

I won’t feel those tiny hands tugging at my dress while I work in the kitchen. I won’t hear the midnight cries demanding to be picked up. I’ll miss those sleeping hugs, the toothless grins, the innocent looks, the baby smells, the cutest expressions, the love (teething) bites, the lick-kisses all over my face, the playtime with your dollies, and the playful tub-baths. I’ll miss featuring the most important and beautiful accessory on my shoulder. I’m going to miss the cute little oneness, rompers, frocks, bloomers, tiny leggings and pants overflowing in your wardrobe.

However, I desire for a few things to be unchanged even when you grow up –

Those big bright eyes looking up to me in admiration. The innocent faith and trust in me. Finding my shoulder when you have to cry. Sharing joys and sorrows with me, no matter what time it is.

I find joy in raising a part of me, and that’s you, my baby girl. And even though time is merciless, each moment of today’s joy is going to be rewarding in the future.

I don’t mind all that I do… because my labor was not in vain!

Got offer...but not joining!

This is the most distressing phenomenon happening in the Indian Jobs Industry. Well, it may be an exaggeration, but it's happening in over 60% of cases today and that's amazingly high! At one end job seekers portray how badly they need the job and the moment they get that offer...Whoosh...they vanish without a trace. Why does this happen? Huge lack of professional ethics of us Indians in most cases. we just don't seem to be upfront about other job discussions happening parallelly or that we are in the market just to explore if there is anything out there significantly better than the current job. We have no respect for other people's time & money! From my experience of such non-joinees, over 60% use the offer to negotiate a better deal somewhere else and join there and 40% use the offer as a threat to possibly get a better deal in their current jobs. Jobseekers have become used to take recruiters for granted and ignoring the fact that after going through the entire selection process and enduring the stated notice period, not joining, causes huge wastage of recruitment cost and worst, in some cases significant loss of business or customers.  Such candidates are oblivious to the damage they cause from their actions. I wonder how they shamelessly move on as if nothing has happened. Watch-out for these tell-a-tale signs (our observations): Jobseeker accepts the offer in spite of the fact that he/she lives far away from the office location (90% probability of a non-joinee) Jobseeker has not visited your website and is only superficially aware of the job role or company (80% probability of a non-joinee) Changes the pre-agreed interview schedule at-least once (70% probability of a non-joinee) Has not taken proper care to dress appropriately for the interview (60% probability of a non-joinee) Unreasonable negotiation on the salary (40% probability of a non-joinee)